I cannot express to you how miserably I am failing over here. I keep looking for gems for the current gen consoles that you people might not have bothered with or perhaps have even heard of. So enters Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire. I...okay first, let me explain a few things. I know this game was basically a launch title for the ps3, I know that it recieved poor reviews, and I know that it has been under $10 one the used rack since the game was released (and has been sitting on the shelf for that period of time too). But what I don't know, is why, for seemingly no other reason than self mutilation, that I was willing to subject myself to this torture.
I had no idea how playable Fist of the North Star really was until I strapped into this shitbag of a title. Playing this game...no I'm sorry, this is not a game, this is an abomination. It's an insult to both God and man, it's insolence is unforgivable and it should be forced upon the punishments of the forsaken and damned. I need it to die in a blaze of hellfire and man-tears. This was no game, it starts you off with a panoramic shot of the blandest environment you could possibly imagine; I have sneezed out cleaner textures before, and my sneezes had more trees and buildings too. After the introduction to your poorly rendered mobile suit you begin the choppiest framerate, clunkiest combat, driest dialogue, and most entertainless strategy/action ga...things this side of the universe.
There is no review here, no sections, no reason for me to even bother continuing the tale. I couldn't sit through 30 minutes of this game. I thought to myself, "Maybe it's because we just started, maybe there is something more to this title." There was, there was more pain and suffering to endure. This fucking thing made my balls shrivel up and fall off. I was not much of a man before I popped this demon spawn into my ps3, but whatever I had this game has broken. I am left no longer complete and this excuse for a game is the reason behind it. This is not a gem, this is a lump of dehydrated shit that somebody didn't even bother to polish. Combat was atrocious, it was as if you took dynasty warriors and reduced it to 1/14 speed, made your units out of tissue paper, and gave you only 3 attacks. I have had more fun ripping my toe nails off. In between missions you can attempt to bring your army up to combat speed (you will fail miserably). You can upgrade/buy shit, but in order to feel any of it you need to wait a "turn" by progressing through them via the menu option "next turn". I had my friend Brett skip every turn after a certain point. After 83 additional turns with zero other gameplay Brett made it to the final mission and failed it no less valiantly than we had failed every other mission (we had both been stuck on the tutorial mission for about 8 tries). I am not sure if it is that the game is difficult, or that we didn't want to play it, but we could not win no matter how hard we tried.
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